Could you explain what you mean by calling it an oppressive custom? Personally, I love being with someone. It has the upside of me getting to enjoy companionship with another human being, and it doesn’t feel like handcuffs. Sometimes I have to do things that I wouldn’t do otherwise for the sake of my partner’s feelings/wellbeing, but isn’t that the case in all relationships? Romantic, familial, platonic, or otherwise? If my partner wants me to do something I’m truly uncomfortable with (like allowing them to track my location), and we can’t agree on a compromise, I’d just end that relationship and find someone I’m more compatible with.
Freedom. I am free to fall in love with someone else. My partner is free to fall in love with someone else. If she does, then I want her to be with that person if they make her happier than I do, because I love her and I want her to be happy and free. She has the freedom to meet with that person and date them without my knowledge, if that’s what she wants to do. I’m not afraid of that pain, because it’s right that she has that freedom.
Demanding that you “tell me if you’re having feelings for someone else” is handcuffs, because it essentially destroys any relationship that might otherwise blossom between two other people. The key is to work on your relationship and make sure you’re both getting what you need, not policing the other’s behaviour.
Could you explain what you mean by calling it an oppressive custom? Personally, I love being with someone. It has the upside of me getting to enjoy companionship with another human being, and it doesn’t feel like handcuffs. Sometimes I have to do things that I wouldn’t do otherwise for the sake of my partner’s feelings/wellbeing, but isn’t that the case in all relationships? Romantic, familial, platonic, or otherwise? If my partner wants me to do something I’m truly uncomfortable with (like allowing them to track my location), and we can’t agree on a compromise, I’d just end that relationship and find someone I’m more compatible with.
Freedom. I am free to fall in love with someone else. My partner is free to fall in love with someone else. If she does, then I want her to be with that person if they make her happier than I do, because I love her and I want her to be happy and free. She has the freedom to meet with that person and date them without my knowledge, if that’s what she wants to do. I’m not afraid of that pain, because it’s right that she has that freedom.
Demanding that you “tell me if you’re having feelings for someone else” is handcuffs, because it essentially destroys any relationship that might otherwise blossom between two other people. The key is to work on your relationship and make sure you’re both getting what you need, not policing the other’s behaviour.