Here’s my purely capitalistic problem with Amazon:

A decade+ ago, I realized that major brands were using the site as their outlet store. I’d buy a pack of socks, and they’d be hideously deformed. I’d buy a few pants for work, one pair would be too small, one too large, and one would fit just right. I’m not fucking Goldilocks.

The final straw for me was when my coffee maker broke. I ordered a new one via same day shipping, which at the time had a minimum order of something like $50. The coffee maker did not cost quite enough, so I added something random to the order so that my same day shipping would be free. Ultimately, the coffee maker arrived late (i.e. not the same day) and the decanter was broken.

When I contacted Amazon about the issue, the agent said they could reship, but they wouldn’t send it same day so for that specific item it was going to take 3 - 5 days to arrive. They also tried to hassle me with a straight up return, telling me I had to take it to a UPS store, which at the time was 30+ minutes away.

Ultimately, I pulled a Karen and told them to cancel my Amazon Prime, which they did. Only problem is, I was 2 or 3 months into the year long subscription and assumed I’d get a pro-rated refund. I did not. When I got back in touch with customer service, they told me that Amazon adds up the value of the “free” shipping I received, the rental value of the movies and shows I watched on Prime, and the value of all the other services included with Prime and if that total exceeds the remaining value of the Prime subscription, then no refund.

They basically stole almost a year of Prime from me with no recourse.

Scum company. I got a lot of hate for saying this back in those days. But at least now, a decade+ later, people are finally starting to wake up. Not everyone, obviously. But at least I don’t get hateful responses and DMs quite as much as I used to.

Why not make it an even 100 billion is what I would ask if I were uninformed, which I am, so it’s what I’m asking.

I’ll put an offender on blast: Max.

A couple of months ago I subscribed to the highest tier, ad-free plan. Around a week into it, we started getting ads for different kinds of sports shows, interrupting the shows and movies at random spots just like traditional ads on television.

First thing first: Back in the days when we rode our Dimetrodons to school both ways uphill in fallen volcanic ash, we called it Cinemax and HBO was separate. And neither one of them had ads show up in the middle of their content because they were premium channels.

Second thing second: When I contacted customer service about it, they actually had the audacity to tell me that those aren’t ads, they are previews for other content offered in their service.

So to me, whether it is a bug in their system or the definition of ad has changed in the ensuing millennia since I first learned its meaning, the fact that there are even ads in premium media services like these is a prime example of enshittification to me.