Very hinged lemmy comment.

My wife has done courses on warning signs for abusive relationships as part of some mental health first aid certification stuff.

2 biiiiiig red flags are insisting on surveillance and not letting people have separate finances. We have a combined account sure, and also pocket money accounts and whatever else. For all I know she’s set up a trust. I mean I don’t think she has because she’d probably tell me but she has the freedom to do so.

Obviously we have wills lmao

Yes we’re teenagers. We’ve been married 15 years, ceremony was when we were three.

Privacy is important, have you never kept a diary? Do you film therapy sessions lest your partner not know what you discussed? Shit with the door open? You don’t need justification for wanting privacy, you need privacy so when you have a good reason for it nothing looks different.

What if there’s an emergency?

What if there is? Get help, that’s an insane fear to live with. If I am unconscious there’s nothing to do anyway, the hospital or whatever will find her details in my purse and call. What the fuck am I going to do, sit there watching the dot on the map and calling 000 if it stops moving? You are a lunatic, we have society to take care of us while we’re out and about and emergency beacons if you’re like camping beyond the black stump or sailing the Pacific.

You are obviously not a woman.

Therapy would be better for you than a panopticon.

What if your partner wants to run away from you? Do you not trust that they would have a good reason?

Vile.

I trust my wife, and she trusts me. We trust each other not to ask for stupid brain-poisoning shit that humans weren’t meant to have access to that could one day blow up horribly.

I don’t have her passwords, she doesn’t have mine. Our phones are locked. I could technically see what she’s doing online I suppose via traffic snooping in the router logs but the day I feel the urge to do something like that is the day I kill myself for having abandoned basic moral principles.

We’re apes, we have brains built for avoiding snakes in tall grass and finding water and berries. You poison yourself with surveillance, you feed your worst and most destructive impulses. Practice keeping secrets, practice being okay with not knowing. Trust isn’t surveillance, trust is knowing that if something fucking mattered you’d be told.

edit: I want my wife to be able to break my heart because if she does she’ll have a good reason for doing so. That is what trust is.